A Horror Movie

Last Monday, we stayed back home to get all our appliances installed in the flat.
In the evening, after physiotherapy, we got ourselves tickets to a night show of 'Gumshuda'. This movie starred Rajit Kapur of Basu Chatterjee's 'Byomkesh Bakshi' fame. And reportedly, the movie was a Hindi adaptation of Conan Doyle's 'The Sign of Four'. Naturally, we were pleasurably excited as we settled in our seats.
The movie started off with Simone Singh crooning at a nightclub. The first thing which seemed out of place was the 60's clothing. But, there were references to 'City Centre' and 'Red FM'. That meant this was not a period movie. Then started the inane performance of Priyanshu Chatterjee. Supposed to be Dr. Watson, he played the most bore flirt of all times. But the fun had not yet started. Enter Raj Zutshi as the person sending Simone diamonds by mail. He spoke in a weird Anglicized accent and fidgeted with his hat and coat. Then, all of the cast went off to Shillong in search of Raj's twin brother who is found murdered in a very uncomfortable position. The dead body was supposed to have induced horror in the audience. It evoked laughter. Then there was the stupid gatekeeper of the now-dead Raj who was once Rajit's boxing rival. This was a purely useless side story which had no impact on the storyline.
Rajit sent for some sniffer dogs. But why on earth did Priyanshu - the doctor have to use them to sniff out the  murderer's trail? In between the actual story were woven several weirdo dream sequences. The story really went haywire from here. We saw a vague romantic association between Priyanshu and Simone. A slutty boat-woman came into the picture at one point. And then there was Victor. Playing a one-legged deliriously crazy manic murderer, he kept dipping his dirty hands in bowls of water which were strewn all over his unkempt house. The audience were in splits by this time.
In the end, the police shoot down Victor's curare-dipped dart sniper dwarf. Rajit and Priyanshu wrestle with Victor's artificial leg and eventually wrench it out to expose the diamonds. Simone Singh comments 'Daulat Ke Liye Aadmi Kya Nahin Karta'. LoL!

We could not control our laughter as we exited the hall. At least it was the money's worth. I don't remember having laughed so hard in recent times.